INSIDE OF
The embodied living co.
The heart beat of Embodied Living Co is to pave a path for modern women to heal.
A path that supports you in stepping into your natural femininity, learning the nuanced dance of reconnecting with your body, & surrendering your way into your greatest liberation.
In the Embodied Living Co we support you in finding a home here on earth that is about so much more than productivity, perfectionism and output.
Rather, a life that is about deep connection, healing the wounds we’ve all picked up along our path, building the foundation needed to create and experience sacred relationships and to welcome pleasure back into your life in profound ways.
In this work you’ll learn how to trust your own body over the external world, and how to hold pleasure right alongside life’s discomfort so that you may truly cultivate freedom.
inside of the embodied living co.’s
signature training
selm: the sensually embodied living method
You will immerse yourself deeply in…
Understanding your conscious mind, subconscious mind and your nervous system on an entirely new level. You’ll learn exactly how to liberate yourself from self sabotaging & perfectionism tendencies and you’ll learn what your unique nervous system needs to build connection instead of disconnection.
you’ll learn the true art of embodiment
How to become the woman you want to be, with the life you want to lead, NOW vs hoping for it to arrive in a distant future daydream. You’ll learn how to hold more without the overwhelm and how to move emotions through your body vs getting stuck in over thinking anxiety loops.
you’ll learn how to reconnect to your body, your sensuality & your sexuality in the most profound way.
You will learn to quite literally heal your body from the inside out, work with painful or overwhelming emotions in a way that feels sustainable & liberating and you’ll cultivate deeper, more euphoric states of pleasure day to day.
I teach you my approach to using your sacred sexual energy to both heal past painful traumas in your body AND to connect to spirit and deeper versions of yourself.
To create a temple inside of your own body that merges you with the divine. No fluff here, no tip toeing around. I teach you exactly how I’ve learned to use my own sexual energy (even though it felt foreign for most of my life) to truly heal past wounds & traumas and to become so intricately aware of and tuned into my body that we became allies.
Self trust, self confidence, connection to spirit and sustained pleasure is the texture of this phase of your SELM journey.
You will learn in detail, a new way of relating, leading yourself and leading others that I have created called the Intimacy Codes.
This is nervous system work, polyvagal work, subtle energy work and more all fused together to help you naturally become the most grounded, powerful and safest woman in the room. This makes you equipped to not only handle confrontation and challenge with ease, but to also create immaculate safety & intimacy in any situation.
In your SELM journey you also are given the opportunity to participate in an in person, overnight medicine ceremony with your SELM cohort sisters. This is one of the most pivotal experiences and something that does not exist in other trainings out there.
You are gearing up for this ceremony throughout your SELM curriculum, and then you come together with other women to practice in REAL time, in REAL life, with the assistance of the medicine of our plant allies. You learn a new ceremonial and feminine approach to life.
i’m RAY
My work focuses on bringing women back to a more natural & embodied life experience.
We’ve been conditioned to over work, over effort, over protect and over prove for so long… and we are now seeing the damage that has done to our lives and our communities.
Anxiety, self-doubt, perfectionism, obsession, shut down, freeze, partnership’s that feel out of balance, lack of community, a lack of feeling safe or supported, a feeling of just getting by, addiction, people pleasing, severe comparison, hyper independence and feeling unfulfilled are just some of the main issues we are facing and what so many women come to me with.
My work holds deep roots in teaching you as a woman HOW to come back to your nature. HOW to learn to truly meet yourself (vs just learning more information & strategies.)
It teaches you how to hold your pain and emotions with full grace and presence, and how to move them through the body so they don’t stagnate and cause dis ease.
It teaches you how to be with any and every experience so that rather than creating disconnection, you cultivate deeper states of connection, confidence and pleasure.
I guide you to connect with and embody the healthy aspects of your femininity, and nurture and heal the shadow aspects of your femininity.
From perfectionism & anxiety, to boundaries, self worth and self trust; we work with the nervous system in the most primitive way, and create avenues and pathways for you to find connection to your body again. In doing so we are able to lovingly move through past traumas, expectations and fears that create distance between us and the life we really desire.
Through connecting back to our sensuality, our embodied self and learning & implementing tools to carry us through even the biggest waves of this life, we are able to drop the protective guards, and surrender to the joy, connection and safety that is here in abundance for us, always.
The Sensually Embodied Living Method is a profound training that will allow you to support yourself as well as be supported by others, as together we cultivate your own unique way of moving through this modern world; as an embodied, free woman.
When we are embodied, we are deeply aware. When we are aware, we have accurate information. When we have information, we have choice. And ultimately, when we have choice… we have the truest form of freedom.
a little bit about
ray
I have been on my spiritual and healing path for over 15 years.
At 17 I was on enough anti anxiety medications for an overweight 50 year old man. When the doctors only suggestions were to continue upping the dose or keep changing the medication… I took my healing into my own hands. I had NO idea where that journey was going to lead me.
After a few years I got off of ALL of my medication naturally, healed the massive destruction it did to my physical body and learned natural and authentic ways to heal what was creating the anxiety and dis-ease in my body in the first place.
Along with deeply learning about the nervous system, familial trauma, cognitive and somatic therapies, attachment work etc (the list goes on) this part of my journey also opened me up to the more mystical, spiritual truths of life.
I worked with mentors, healers and medicine women, I sat in many spiritual circles and ceremonies, and I put myself in every situation that I could to learn and strengthen my consciousness.
While I am trained in NLP, 3x’s breath work certified and certified by the Embody Lab’s Integrative Somatic Trauma Therapy… I believe my real zone of genius and proficiency comes from my own lived experience and the many years I have been gifted of serving women in a multitude of ways.
I’ve worked with countless coaches, healers and mentors, and I’ve seen it all in this industry. And one thing that I guarantee in all of my containers, is direct, tangible and applicable tools & teachings. No fluff. No far out concepts that can’t be applied to your daily life.
In the creation of the Embodied Living Co it was my mission to provide women with something more ceremonial and intimate than therapy, AND more tangible and understandable than many of the spiritual teachings out there.
It is my mission to serve, love and support women of all ages and all walks of life.
This work is my life’s work and I can’t wait to weave with you and teach you everything I know about embodiment, ceremonial living and creating a safe, stable feminine life experience.
WE HEAL DEEP
We connect even deeper, and we do it all immersed in freedom, joy & pleasure. It gets to be that good. Your pleasure, your happiness, is your birthright.
words from
selm students
maddy m.
“SELM is the most important and beautiful self improvement work. Life-changing and grounding. Before SELM I was in a place of confusion, numbness, and not knowing my worth. Now, half way through, I’m in a place of finding clarity, regaining strong and deep feelings, and knowing my worth more than ever.”
vandita a.
“Before SELM I was so lost but had convinced myself I was doing the “work” while actually just numbing constantly and disappearing from my life. The most impactful times were the hardest: physical and emotional abuse, sex trauma, feeling unworthy & not enough, jealousy and insecurity, and confusion over who I am and my path. But the absolute best thing that happened was the day we connected to my inner child. The little one who I’d abandoned so many years ago for being “bad.” When you encouraged me to love her instead of trying to fix her, that changed the whole game for me. The amount of self love, self nurturing, and self compassion I have now during the hardest moments (like sitting down with your sister/friend/coach and laying it all out there in it’s messy sticky realness) has been such a fucking life changer. The intimacy codes are life changing and help people connect to the capital M Me that lives inside of me. The unconditional support & nonjudgmental container that Ray provides. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.”
stephanie l.
“I would absolutely recommend SELM and one thing that I thought about is ‘wow I wish I would’ve done this first I wish that I could have skipped all of the other things that I’ve tried and just started with this and then built from this foundation how beautiful will that be.’ Although I do appreciate my journey to get here and I don’t want to take anything away from that. But dang I wish I could have been feeling this good a long time ago.”
kate m.
“I tend to not really “love a lot of emotions.” But learning to pay attention to where I feel something and recognizing where they exist is interesting and really helpful. I’m really learning how to process emotions physically & finding ways to build back into my life, the things that make me happy.”
what to
expect
Imagine a 4 month experience, where you are DEEPLY immersed in sisterhood, held lovingly all the way through by a mentor who has walked the walk herself, and are given opportunity after opportunity to stretch yourself into who it is you KNOW you can and want to be.
» Imagine feeling SO deeply connected to your body, that the overthinking, the analyzing, the perfectionism and the anxiety literally melt away. Your body no longer needs those protective strategies to get through life.
» Imagine being so ceremonially connected to this earth, you feel held in all of the ways you’ve always craved. The need to please or get approval from others, becomes a distant and foreign memory. The habit of outsourcing your power finally breaks.
» Imagine, feeling delicious, sensual and safe enough in your body (regardless of how it looks!) that even the way you walk… feels like making love to the earth.
“Every song turns you on. Every sunrise takes your breath away. Every smile, cracks you open more. Imagine going from numb, to completely and utterly enlivened. Imagine, trusting yourself... even with all the pain you’ve experienced, imagine fully trusting yourself in every single moment. Imagine having a fool-proof SYSTEM in place, that allows you to rest in your own self assuredness. Imagine being so consumed with joy. Confidence, emanating from every cell. A life around you, you are so deeply proud of.”
the safety that you build and sustain inside of selm is life changing
in so many ways.
The connection to other women you experience is a lifelong thread building sacred and lasting community into your life.
The tools and embodied experiences you walk away with, leave you feeling secured and equipped to handle even the biggest of waves life may through at you.
» By the end of SelM, you will be so blown away by yourself.
You will have life long sisters, you will accomplish things you never through you could, you will be so unafraid of life and her challenges that you can drop deeper into your body and the present moment than ever before.
You will have cultivated a soft, trusting, ceremonial connection to this life.
» After your SELM in person medicine ceremony you will have a new appreciation for the interconnectedness of everyone and everything
You will be incorporating small ceremonial rituals for peace & connection into your daily life, and you will have a community you fit into. A community you are inspired by. A sisterhood that has your back.
YOU will know exactly how to break past self-sabotaging and people pleasing habits.
You will know exactly how to (both logically and from an embodied stance) move energy and dense emotions out of your body
You will know how to identify the ways your past traumas are creating micro or macro repeats of that trauma in your current reality and lovingly heal and step ahead of those patterns
You will have a grounded anchor of how to move out of comparison and into connection
You will know confidently how to hold safe spaces and create profound connections with others, both in groups and 1:1 settings.
You will effortlessly know how to utilize your sexual energy for your growth and liberation, rather than be ashamed of it.
You will walk through life grounded, confident and full of joy. Embodied as the exact woman that you wish to be.
You will feel a sustained transformation, not a fading peak experience, and you will know how to continue guiding and coaching yourself for years to come after graduating SELM.
more words from
selm students
stephanie ship
“My intuition is definitely stronger and funnily enough my social anxiety has gone way down, which was an outcome I wasn’t expecting. I trust myself more and my decisions, and I’m listening to my body more - so that had naturally led to less anxiety when I’m interacting with others. I feel like I really do HAVE MYSELF.”
allison h.
“Having yourself means not being afraid of the depth of the unknown. Ray addresses misconceptions about pleasure and sensuality head-on, and naturally that means we are facing a time of ‘ok if I;ve thought this forever or I was conditioned this way up until now, now what?’ New identity is scary, but we cannot learn and become without experiencing, witnessing, deep visioning and self care. A snippet I wrote down from Ray is “a little bit of sttention with a little bit of intention goes a long way.” I feel like I;m on the cusp of this program truly redefining what I know are my rights as a woman - untangling societal expectations and trying to undo shame.”
breeanna l.
“Your light in this earth is pure gold. I’m so grateful for you shining so bright. This came through as I fell asleep last night. About you: You are teaching us how safe it gets to be to show up on earth as an embodied goddess.”
stephanie l.
“Ray is powerful, organized, a natural leader and fiercely kind. Before this work I didn’t feel comfortable with my own truth. I always felt I needed to please other over myself. It was built in inner dialogue…that I didn’t have the right to choose me. Fast forward to now, it has been such a huge shift in the way I speak to myself and how I manage that shadow. The spirit of this group is so powerful. Having a pack of wild women who share your truth, and who you get to share their experience with…is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. I saw myself in these women and they saw me too. Such a sisterhood. Ray is a vibrant rainbow of energy!”
SELM
The Sensually Embodied Living Method
the
experience
SELM Is a 4-month intimate and comprehensive training for women.
You’ll be in an intimate cohort with no more than 10 women, and you will have BOTH a fully tested and proven curriculum as well as weekly live training sessions.
These training sessions support you in any questions around the curriculum, support with whatever is being activated in your personal life at that time and live, on the spot embodiment practices that you can and will implement into your daily life.
phase 1
Understanding your subconscious mind and the human dilemma
You will be deeply guided to create a wildly exciting vision for your life that we will walk with throughout your SELM journey. You’ll also learn about all of your unconscious protective strategies, things that hold you back, how your unique nervous system opens to connection and how it defaults to protection. You will connect with YOUR personal guides (even if you never have before) and you’ll start to build your own spiritual daily practice.
phase 2
Reconnecting to your body
You will be SO deeply immersed into new and ancient ways of connecting to your body. You will learn how to place your emotions on the energetic scale to clearly see HOW to move past certain emotions, without bypassing others or getting stuck.
You will learn how to allow your body to speak to you BEFORE it resorts to getting sick, shutting down or disassociating to get through. (If these are experiences you already deal with, not to worry! SELM teaches you how to navigate all of this with gentleness and sustainability)
You’ll learn how to start the thaw. If you’ve been in a season or a lifetime of bracing, anticipating and feeling on guard… you’ll learn how to safely and sustainably start to open back up to life. (No matter what your history looks like)
And, you will learn how to not be overwhelmed by your feelings, but to utilize them for your freedom. You will become the most embodied, and joy filled woman in the room ;)
phase 3
sex magic
Yes. Sex. Magic. You will learn to finally strip way any shame or fear around your sexuality, and instead invite it into your life as the healing & creative energy that it is.
You will understand how to cultivate your erotic energy, even if its been turned off for some time, and use it to both move pain out of your body AND connect you to spirit, to your highest self, to cultivate a deep sense of connectedness and devotion to life and to manifest the feelings and experiences in life you desire most.
Sex is not just an act, it is a pathway to creation. In SELM you learn how to use it as such.
phase 4
the intimacy codes
Become the most embodied, grounded and safest woman in the room. Whether at work, in the bedroom or amongst your community… you’ll learn how to create safe spaces, powerful experiences, how to read body language queues deeper than you ever have before, how to use YOUR body language and energy to shift the dynamic of an experience and create deeper intimacy for everyone involved.
The intimacy codes are literally your connection point to something so much bigger than you, that creates impact and connectivity deeper than you could imagine.
phase 5
the ceremony
You will be invited to participate in one of the most sacred, intimate and liberating ceremonies of your life.
Held with the most incredible intention and safety, a small group of your SELM cohort sisters gather together in person, to sit in a sacred plant medicine ceremony.
We bring everything you’ve been working on in SELM into the healing circle, we come together heart to heart, nervous system to nervous system, and we deepen together the way our ancestors once did.
The ceremony weekend is the most beautiful and pivotal experience for so many women, and a true reference point for you to create a new ceremonial and feminine approach to your life.
frequently asked
questions
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SE.M is a 4-month initiation.
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This is Ray’s life’s body of work. She is leading the main sessions, facilitating the ceremony and in the group messaging app 4 days a week for continued support.
She also has team members to help with ceremony, additional support and accountability.
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You have a fully flushed out curriculum, daily messaging support, weekly calls and an in-person weekend ceremony.
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We ask that you don’t miss more than 2 of the live calls during your training.
We ask that all participants come with an open heart and an open mind.
We ask for clear communication (no ghosting, no sharing personal information outside of the cohort, and going straight to the source whenever there is an issue or contraction. Ie don’t go to someone else, if you have an issue with someone else. Go straight to them or one of the assistant leaders or Ray)
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If you are willing to follow the above requirements, YES!
So often we think we have to be “healed enough” to start our healing.
Right, like we have to “make enough money” to start investing… when investing IS what makes us money.
The same is true here. Don’t worry about not being as far along as someone or not having as much experience. Those are all illusions that part of your protective mind is using to try to keep you safe and comfortable. (You’ll learn all about this in phase 1)
If you feel a nudge…. And if it scares you a little bit… that’s a reaaalll good sign mama.
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If you think you know it all already, or have a desire to argue / be right, this might not be for you.
If you intend to treat this as a self-guided program only catching the replays, this might not be for you.
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We have cohorts enrolling 3 times a year on average. Since we keep these groups small and intimate they do fill up quickly.
Your best option is to fill out the application and then when a new cohort is opening, you’ll get the first chance to reserve your spot!
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For sure! Once you fill out your application, you’ll see all the info about pricing, payment plans, schedule, ceremony costs and info and more!